SKH Psychotherapy​
  • Home
  • About me
  • What to expect
  • Areas of expertise
  • Relationship & sexuality
  • Contact

Areas of expertise

​
Here are some of the issues I have often worked with:

Depression


Most people have experienced some levels of depression at some points of their life. This is common, and it may take a while to change, but therapy can help you feel better. I find that it’s helpful to pay particular attention to the ‘internal dialogue’ as people that feel depressed tend to ‘speak’ to themselves in a very derogative, hostile way. Becoming aware of how you treat yourself, and how this impacts you, we may note where you have learnt to speak to yourself like that. I will also encourage you to experiment with treating yourself more compassionately. This may feel strange at first, but in the process of therapy people are usually able to connect to a more accepting, supportive and encouraging parts within themselves.
We also look at ‘Introjects’, a Gestalt term that describes sets of beliefs we adopted as children without really questioning them. For example we may hold on to rigid ideas about ourselves as ‘useless’, or have a very rigid definition of success (therefore experience ourselves as failures).
Some people suffering from depression tend to blame themselves, and may find it difficult to express dissatisfaction with others. This is a process that’s called ‘Retroflection’, in which we attack ourselves when it feels too unsafe to be angry with others. So another focus of the work is enabling you to protest, and become clearer about what you don’t like and how you would like to be treated.  


​Anger


Some people find that expressing anger is very uncomfortable for them and that the mere thought of it evokes fears of being attacked, or being discovered as a bad human being. People may try to rationalise why they don’t need to feel angry, or distract and disconnect from their feelings. They may find themselves lacking in energy, and they may find it difficult to project authority and make sure their needs are met. It’s also very common to then ‘explode’ with rage on seemingly minor things, when being overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness, or injustice.
The therapeutic work focuses on acknowledging the importance of anger to our psychological wellbeing. Anger tells us when we feel hurt, and it can empower us to stand up for ourselves. We may explore where did you learn that anger was so dangerous or unacceptable, and we may experiment with expressing anger in the safety of the therapy room. You will be encouraged to notice the bodily clues for a mild irritation, and we will learn ways to express anger safely as a mean of communication rather than destruction or intimidation.
 
Other people feel anger most of the time. They often feel on edge and the constant anger harms their relationships and makes it hard for them to feel tender feelings. When this is the difficulty we will ask what function does the anger serve. Is it safer to feel anger then to feel hurt or to allow people closer? Or is the anger a way of avoiding grieving some unmet needs?
Here the task is to establish trust in the therapeutic relationship, and to gradually explore the feelings underneath the anger.

Anxiety


Anxiety is sadly also very common in our society. You may feel generally lacking in confidence, or uncomfortable in social situations, or you may find that certain situations become so unbearable, you try to avoid them all together (phobia), or that you adopt certain rituals to ward off scary scenarios and anxious feelings (OCD). In anxiety the link between body and mind is unmissable. When we experience fearful thoughts our body responds with any of the followings: heart palpitations, shallow breathing, growing muscle tension, blushing, stomach sickness or faintness. These are so unpleasant when extreme, that they become an object of fear by themselves. In that way, fearful thoughts create physical symptoms, which in turn reinforce fearful disposition. 
So how do we break this negative cycle?
Body awareness: When clients become aware of their physical levels of stress, and learn to support themselves through breathing and attuning to their body sensations, they can start braking this cycle.
Changing the internal dialogue: Anxious people tend to quietly bully themselves, by thinking how ridiculous they look, or how they will never be able to do something. So learning to support and soothe oneself is crucial.
Finding one’s power: Anxious people tend to feel powerless, while others are seen as powerful and frightening. We may explore what happens when they reclaim their power, and allowed themselves express their anger. 


​Childhood Sexual abuse


​I have a lot of experience working with victims of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating experiences a person could have. It damages self-esteem, the ability to trust others, and protect oneself. If you suffered some form of sexual abuse you may avoid intimate relationships altogether, or engage in a risky or addictive behaviour. As victims’ own sense of boundary was violated, they have often learnt to numb themselves to survive the abusive experience. As adults, survivors may put themselves at risky situations, or may try to avoid intimacy all together. It’s often hard to achieve mutual and satisfying sexual relationship as it may evoke old traumatic experiences.
 
A primary focus of the therapeutic work is on building a trusting relationship in therapy. Clients are often detached from their body’s physical sensations, and we work to reconnect with the body, recognising when one is distressed, and learn ways to sooth and ground oneself. As victims tend to see themselves as responsible in some way to what happened to them, work is done on reframing one’s personal story and attributing responsibility to where it belongs. Emotions that have been supressed are allowed to come out in a gradual and safe way. Clients develop a more compassionate way of treating themselves. Sexually, clients learn to take more control of their sexual experiences, change old beliefs about themselves, recognise and change situations that may trigger old responses, and reclaim their sexuality as a positive force in their lives. 
​
SKHpsychotherapy
Telephone     07766705884
​Email: sivanh@gmail.com
  • Home
  • About me
  • What to expect
  • Areas of expertise
  • Relationship & sexuality
  • Contact